So I'm sitting in Costa having been to the doctor, then to Pets at Home to pick up Petal's flea treatment, and a strangely zen trip around the pound store. Time disappears in cavernous stores like these. Until one spies the horror of one's true reflection in one of the reasonably priced display mirrors in... Continue Reading →
The sun is shining, birds chirruping away. The bushes outside are a sparklingly brilliant chartreuse. The weather is warm but not hot. My cat is purring and contented by my side. This chair is extremely comfortable. I live in a lovely house. And yet, this morning is one of those mornings. This morning, I woke... Continue Reading →
Every time, Every single fucking time I try to do something to help myself, To distinguish my sorry little self so that I'm no longer pointless, Every time, Someone has got there first. There is nothing new under the sun. Someone has already got it done, And they did it Better than me. So why... Continue Reading →
I don't have the energy for it. The energy not just to BE happy but to keep it up. The trouble is, every time I try and then stop, it's like starting over, exactly as it was in the beginning, and sometimes worse, which is hard for people to understand. Especially my mother. 'But you... Continue Reading →
This is not a ‘think positively and you’ll be fine’ post. And yes, I know, I KNOW what I said about hacks and tips here, but I hope these are a little different and a little more realistic. So I’ve been struggling with clinical depression, on and off, for my entire adult life. (I... Continue Reading →
Over half a year. The modern world says I should have moved on. I should be ecstatic to be single and enthusiastically embracing my new life. I cannot. Every time I hear your name, every time I see your picture, the tears begin anew. I cry for the loss of the future we could have... Continue Reading →
I draw nothing but beautiful faces and figures. My own is showing the signs of age. I was never beautiful, and I defy all those who would tell me otherwise. What I was was pretty. Pretty enough to get by, and certainly photogenic. I'm still photogenic. I can take a nice picture in a decent... Continue Reading →
I promised myself I would try to be more prolific with my writing whilst stuck at home feeling depressed. However, depression had other ideas, as it usually does. But anyway, I have managed to get myself into the mood to put pen to paper, or to put finger to keyboard at least, and I don't... Continue Reading →
I'm sitting at my laptop, procrastinating. My mood is strange, I am both despairing and sort of numb. I want to scream at everything, 'I DON'T CARE. FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE'. Even at the people who are trying to help. I got up today. I put some makeup on, and I brushed my... Continue Reading →
