So Completely Done.

I’m so bored with ‘popular girl’ blogs.

‘Oh look at us, we’re so positive, light-hearted, accomplished, thin, beautiful, rich and HEY WE’RE ONLY 23 AND YOU CAN ACHIEVE THIS TOO! What, you haven’t achieved this? It’s your fault, you’re not being positive enough. Read our Top Ten Lists of How to Achieve Absolutely Anything, Drink more green tea, do some yoga, focus on the good, You Do You (as long as the You that you Do falls within our acceptable parameters – don’t stray!), eat Mindfully, sleep Mindfully, poop Mindfully, fuck Mindfully, and the whole universe will conspire to make things go your way! Oh and I’m incredibly Humble, and Grateful to God for the Blessings with which He has Bestowed upon Me.’

It reminds me so much of the girls at school whom the teachers adored, but who were fantastic behind said teachers’ backs about making those of us who didn’t like what they liked or do our hair in a fashionable way feel ridiculous, stupid, ugly and worthless. The grown-up versions of these girls are even worse: ‘Hello, look, I am Married with a Wonderful Husband and Beautiful and Accomplished Children and I was a Successful Barrister but now I Have My Own Business and I Am A Stay At Home Mother and also we go on Holiday fifteen times a year and photograph it so all you plebs can look and dream about Following in my Footsteps.’

I’d like to take this moment to say a huge ‘FUCK YOU’ to all these types of post. I come across them all the time and they are making me so weary. They do not help people in any sort of bad situation. They certainly do not help people in the depths of clinical depression. They only help people who don’t have many problems and who already believe in this saccharine sort of advice. At best they can be read and taken with the proverbial pinch of salt as the shallow, backward, and ignorant-of-the-world-at-large pieces of regurgitated crap that they are, and at worst, they are the most passive-aggressive form of bullying to those in misfortune that I can imagine.

This doesn’t follow that occasionally, some of the advice may not be sound. For example – to some extent, focusing on the positive can help pull someone through a shit situation. HOWEVER, if you can’t find a positive to focus on, you then subsequently feel a failure, and that helps precisely NOBODY. The trouble is, no-one seems to question this any more. The popular girls are taking over social media. I shouldn’t really be surprised, as this is the way social humanity works. Why should it be different in any form of mass-consumed media?

We have become avid consumers of mantras, of ‘personal policies’, and of hacks and self-help lists. Advice learned the hard way is one thing; third- hand vomited, cheesy, but put-in-your-own-words ‘tips’ are another. Has it occurred to us that the reason these sorts of tips are so popular is that no-one, young or old, least of all those who posted the damn things in the first place, has any of it figured out? Otherwise we WOULDN’T BLOODY NEED THEM.

Here’s my contribution – life will probably be crap. Expect it, then you will be prepared to deal with it. If it doesn’t happen, be pleasantly surprised, but always remember it’s luck and circumstances which worked in your favour, NOT YOU. There are plenty of hard-working, honest, talented and diligent people upon whom life has crapped repeatedly. You don’t hear from them for obvious reasons.

I just want to say yes, you SHOULD ‘Do You’, but not in a way that is ‘socially acceptable’. If who you are is perfectly acceptable to you (as long as it doesn’t harm others), then there’s no need to try and force acceptance from the mainstream at large through social media (oh yes, and I am fully aware of the irony of me posting this publicly – but I’m in a bad mood and feeling like having a rant, okay? Fuck off.)

In case you’re just thinking, ‘wow, bitter old bitch who has had bad luck’, let me assure you that I consider myself very fortunate, not least from living in the affluent West with basics like hot and cold running water, and a roof over my head- things that many in this world can’t access. It’s just that I despair at the level of ‘ambition’ modern girls reading these ridiculous blogs are expected to aspire to – to some, just getting and keeping a job in their lives could and should be enough. Being as healthy as you can manage, reading books, having some basic education – these things are worthy even if you then never do anything else. You also DON’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF TO THE INTERNET IN ORDER TO BE VALIDATED. And God Almighty, there is more to living life fully than looking pretty and achieving the ‘perfect selfie’.

I’m done with this rant for now, I think. I’m off to take my generously-sized arse to the kitchen to cook some practically illegal (the way things are going) full-buttered, full-sugared and fully tasty chocolate cake. And I’m going to drink wine whilst I do it, and REALLY FUCKING ENJOY IT.



6 thoughts on “So Completely Done.

Add yours

  1. Finally … a blog post I can relate to! 🙂 I’m a guy, but we suffer through the same sorts of perky, upbeat, Zip-a-dee-doo-dah posts that make us think we have somehow done everything wrong in our lives. I am a pretty upbeat guy, pretty optimistic, and reasonably successful … but I have lived long enough to realize that Life does not hand out gifts and blessings equally or even according to who deserves them most. It is pretty random … and mostly due to where and to whom someone is born.

    So thank you again for your post. It has made me feel better than twenty dozen “isn’t life grand?” posts!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It was completely my pleasure. You put into words what I have been feeling for many weeks now. I just did not have the courage to speak my mind like you did. 🙂 Keep up the great blogging!

        Liked by 1 person

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