The maelstrom within has overtaken me tonight. Churning, howling, furious and desolate. Blinded by darkness, I am clawing for the pinpoints of light. They are blinking out of existence, one by one by painful one. I have fought this for so long, but storms small and large just keep adding to it, until it isn’t just a whirlwind; it is also a crushing pressure, an increasing force which I have no hope of pushing against. I feel panic and calm simultaneously; the panic induces screams and red madness, the calm engenders sleep and longing for death. I am constantly told I have talents, and am strong, so I have no need to feel caught in this storm. I use my skills and strength to roll rocks back up the mountain, Sisyphus-like, whilst the storm rages around and inside me, but the rocks just keep getting bigger. I have no more strength. Now they are rolling over me back into the pit, and the easiest thing to do would be to roll with them.